My reality show detox – A.K.A Project Switch That Shit Off!

Over Christmas, while I had some time off, I was glued to my television set (or rather E! Entertainment) to keep my mind busy while I was “trying to relax”.

Being a celebrity reporter, my fair share of dealings in my daily life revolve around reporting on the Who’s Who’s and their shenanigans, but for me to not waste my time away watching E! would be a sin.

After I grew tired of watching Kim Kardashian’s cry face, I channel hopped over to TLC (maybe because my Mom’s mind was melting) and came across Toddlers and Tiaras.

First of all, let me state, this show should bear a warning before the show starts. Somehow E! does warn one of “flashing images that could lead to epilepsy”, but there was no warning on TLC to warn me of barbaric burstings of anger that could lead me to flinging my remote at the TV. No sir. No warning at all.

Secondly: I have watched this crap before, but this time I managed to see the episode that really sent out the wrong message to the world and the mindless slaves that watch the show.

So, the episode started off with one of the pageant directors, Bonnie Crow, proudly exclaiming: “If you are chubby, then it’s not just going to cut it. You don’t want to see a fat child on stage.”

At this point, you could cue me and my WTF-face, burning holes through the TV.

How can a grown-up even say this?

My problem exactly comes in here. And this is where I delve in deeper to the mystical world of adults whoring up their children for reality television.

Cue Kris Jenner, the beloved mother by a spawn of 6, who’s she has branded out into the entertainment industry. Although we never get to see the real Kris on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, we do sometimes get a taste of how she has the same mindset as the pageant director I mentioned earlier.

Can I go on to lay down Dallas Divas and Daughters, Mob Wives and Sister Wives into the mix of evidence as well?

Jersey Shore… ‘Nuff said.

And this got me thinking.

At the end of the day, either way you look at it, reality TV has killed itself and dragged society along with it.

I don’t like to make assumptions (cause I never like making an ass of you and me), but I want to peg reality shows down for most parents erratic behaviours these days.

If pageant director Bonnie Crow could make a “profound” statement, saying that “being chubby won’t cut it”, then how do you explain mothers starving their children till they are thin?

How about teenage girls with identity issues, bought on by parents who found it right to break them down and raise them according to what they saw on a reality show?

Not even to mention little girls becoming such fame whores …

Then, teenagers thinking their lives can be just like the crew from Jersey Shore. Drinking till the wee hours of the morning, hooking up with random people, and sleeping the whole day. No ambitions are seen anywhere and you never (ever) hear them do anything positive.

As much as it is sad to see how the real reality killed the faux one we want to live in, we still find ourselves falling victim to reality shows. Even if it is Jersey Shore or Guliana and Bill, it’s still a false reality created for TV.

From now on, I propose a new warning for all reality shows:

Warning. The follow show has been scripted and directed, and does not indicate any real sense of reality. If you choose to watch further, you will be brainwashed. Rather choose to switch off your television set and go for drinks with your girlfriends.

It’s simple and the truth, but we all now I was dreaming right there. The day that warning is aired, is the day Kris Jenner admits she is a “bad mother”.

For now, I am going on a reality show detox. I’d rather live in the universes of multiple series I know is fake, than loose myself in one that is beyond trash.

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The Confessions of a Shopoholic (#1)

If the layout of our country resembled that of a shopping mall, I would never need a GPS to find my way.

As a matter of fact, if our economy was run like the sales at Factorie, Cotton On, Jay Jay’s and YDE, I would be like the Minister of Finance.

Oh, and if I had my say, top designer labels would be made much cheaper and affordable for the “poor” man on the street.

If you have not gathered by now, I am a Shopoholic. I am pretty sure that is not how we introduce ourselves at our Shopoholic Anonymous meetings, but I don’t see a problem with being in love with swiping your card more than actually hugging your best friend.

People have asked me this question a lot: Are you crazy enough to spend money on clothes, rather than build up your savings.

To which I fondly quote Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and The City: I like my money right where I can see it – in my closet.

I am not crazy, nor am I a special kind of stupid, but I believe clothes is a basic human need. And why bring yourself down to a level where you can’t feel good wearing something that makes you stand out and brands you even more as an individual?!

Yes. I will easily spend a wad of cash on a nice shirt if I feel good in it. Yes. I will rather eat dry bread for two weeks than pass up a nice pair of shoes. Yes. I do experience a euphoric sensation when I hand my card over to the cashier. Yes. I do feel guilty when I stare at the bags on my passenger seat, while driving home.

How long does the guilt last? Minutes. Mere minutes.

But, as much as I can go on about my obsession with shopping, I have to express the negativity surrounding shopoholics.

Did you know that shopping is not an accredited sport or an official Olympic event? I am like: Seriously world, get with the times. Some of us would sprint faster in mall filled with sale signs than Usain Bolt ever could.

The backlash received from the general public to Shopoholics is atrocious. I mean, we are branded as “crazy” folk who need some extent of psychological help. Let me tell you: Shopping is therapy to us. Would you rather want us taking a tire iron and smashing in someone’s skull, than express our anger in a relatively safe way? Would you rather have us sit down and pour our sob stories out for hours, leaving your head spinning and ears bleeding, or have us in a store, silently browsing the racks for something good. Your choice.

And then. Have economists ever called us out on our “great work” when it comes to shopping? Last time I checked we are helping out the economy (those of us who have “clean” debt and pay with cash yes) by swiping our cards. Just saying…

(Please not the extreme sense of sarcasm in all of the above mentioned…)

Alas, I confess. I love shopping and maybe sometimes a little too much. But hey… They say Rome was not built in a day. To which I say: My closet has never been this empty.

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When does too much, really become too much?

When does too much actually become too much?

Does it reach that level where we inevitably raise our hands and say: “Woah! Stop right there!” Or do we push through, till we actually destroy ourselves.

I have this gym instructor who frequently likes to remind the class that “our bodies can be pushed further than we actually think it can”.

Interesting enough, I think this can be applied when it comes to our minds as well.

We only stop the bus when we perceive that we had enough to deal with, but when we keep piling it on, we can push ourselves much further than we think.

For example. A looming problem we somehow keep shoving to the back of our minds.

In my case, I tend to believe that the expression “Out of sight, out of mind”, really does have some power to it.

I have had situations where I pushed myself to the extent, with some bad consequences. I kept somehow telling myself that I wouldn’t have to face the problem yet. And then the problem just somehow managed to jump from the “Denial” box right into the “Current” box and I literally had to call the “Stop”-rule on life.

Hey, nobody likes to call the “Stop”-rule on life, but when too much has become too much, you have eventually deal with everything.

We all know problems also have a way of piling up on each other. It’s like Life has a way of saying: So, you are avoiding this problem. Let’s throw this one onto the pile. Wait. Another. Incoming!

Although we think we can carry an immense load of shit in our lives, there does exist a point where too much does become too much – believe it or not.

I for one, am guilty of this. Ignoring my limits and piling up stuff and living in denial.

“Out of sight, out of mind” may have power to it, but it doesn’t help at the end of the day.

Instead of calling the “Stop” rule when he have had enough, I think I should just deal with stuff like “normal” people do. If I keep pushing through problems and issues in life, denying that it is enough already, I could potentially blow myself apart.

Key being here: Deal with your shit when it pops up. Denial may be a river in Egypt, but you can’t swim against a current that is stronger that you are.
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