Month: December 2012

Hey there little fighter – 2013 will be brighter

2012 – Thank the pope it’s over. Finally.

I never really meant it last year when I said: “Give me all you got”. Seriously 2012… You didn’t have to take me up on my offer.

When I am forced to look back at the year, I cringe a bit when I think back to some memories I thought I have long since buried away. You see, you can try and forget, but it’s never that easy.

January to March was filled with heartbreak…

The crumbling pieces of my heart were still being dragged along from 2011, and 2012 seemed to welcome it with open arms. As much as I tried to stay strong and be the best person I could be, I just got beat down. As much as I did not want to admit defeat, I guess I was forced to.

Just before Valentine’s Day, I was dumped. Wait. My heart was torn out of chest and set alight for the whole world to see. That sounds more apt. I’ve had heartache before, but this was worse.

Apart from me still being without a job at the time, I had enough time on my hands to go even further downhill with my life.

All I kept asking for was a miracle. The miracle never came, but rather a blessing in disguise.

March – August was spent in another town…

So, I found myself in Malmesbury from March to August. I had a job (temporarily) and a new environment. This was the break I needed, but also the necessary time my head and heart needed to reflect on all that had happened.

But, it was during this time that I also had to learn the hard way, that one can’t force yourself into doing stuff. I maybe had forced myself to move to another town, but how would I force myself to love again? Even when I knew that it would be impossible and that superglue would be the only ingredient that could fix it.

In a way, I grew as an adult during this time – life lessons can only be taught when you experience it yourself.

When it came to my heart, I found that it had vanished and that it was now a block of ice.

I have to admit, I liked the idea of being a mature adult, and a heartless bitch at the same time.

I didn’t interpret this as me going downhill even further, but looking back at it now, I had been heading downhill pretty fast.

Love had lost out in my life. If I could be wild for a weekend, go partying and hunting down a news story, I was happy.

This came and went, and soon my time in Malmesbury ran out, and I returned to the homestead, not sure what exactly was left for me in life.

September – December was when I realised what I’ve been doing wrong…

So when love was out of the question, I realised that I could fight for myself.

During my time in Malmesbury, my colleague taught me a valuable lesson: “Trust no one, except yourself. Cause face it – only you can change your destiny and outlook on life.”

Slowly but surely I realised that I needed to start trusting myself again, cause all this time I might have been letting myself down.

Even though others broke down what they couldn’t or wouldn’t repair, I was always the one who had to pick myself up and go on.

Always I was expecting some guardian angel to sweep in and save me from falling to death, while it was in fact just me, myself and I who needed to stop mid-air, and fly back up.

I had, in hindsight, lost the ability to trust myself.

In life, this is dangerous. We fall into this habit of thinking we can trust others, when people will always disappoint us at some point in our lives.

What sets apart these people, are those who face the disappointment and regains your trust, while others just laugh it off and move on.

Now that it’s close to 31 December, I look back at 2012 as a year when I was tested emotionally, rather than physically. I was always emotionally stable, but not strong enough to carry my emotions if things went haywire.

The key is that one has to keep fighting. Fighting for what you want and what you believe in, fight for others and for what they believe in. And most importantly, fight for survival, when you don’t think you can beat any odds.

2013 will be brighter. Even if it was just somebody who gave me a truthful compliment recently, or even taught me to keep my imagination alive… 2013 will see a David that will stay strong, despite any odds, trusting himself again and learning to love life and well, maybe someone 😉Image

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Back to the Basics

When all else fails, head back to the basics.

This is one of the lessons that I will always take with me through life, taught to me by my 6’th grade teacher, Mrs. Beukes.

When all else seems to have failed in my life, I always had to go back to the basics.

It was not some way for me to hide from facing the horrible truth that I might have failed, but in a way, this saved me from creating more failure along the way.

When it came to life decisions that did not go as planned, I returned to the basics by starting the decision from scratch. That time with more experience, confidence and smarter choices along the way.

In this modern day and age we have grown to over complicate things a lot for ourselves.

KISS – Keep it simple stupid!

When you are stuck in a predicament, return to the basics and keep everything simple. Less drama, less hassle.

I think I may have recently adopted this strategy again after I realised that I was over complicating things for my already wretched heart.

People who know me well, know I always say: “Romance is not my life.” But it actually is.

After going through a lot of stuff in my life, I have managed to keep my heart beating by staying strong and always heading back to the basics. When I got my heart broken, I always started by going through the whole process of dealing with it, and then I started from scratch. But, this has gone out of the window in recent times and I have to admit, no emotions and feelings were involved when I got my heart broken.

As cold as Arctic ice, I made sure my heart was protected. And this in turn, over complicated things.

Now, it’s time I return back to the basics. After heading back to the drawing board, I think I now know that this Stupid, has to keep it simple.

If it has to involve love letters, simple SMS’s saying something sweet, a long process of wooing a person, I am up to it. If it worked for the people in Downton Abbey, it will work for me here in the 21’st century. It’s all about keeping it personal, affectionate and truthful.

And, if I have to dispose of any technological means while at it, so be it.

Here’s to the basics. Sweet and simple.Image

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